Thursday, June 8, 2017


Despite the constant negative press covfefe

Told ya I had the best words. 



1. Winning. A lottery ticket. A marathon. A mammoth pink teddy bear at the county fair. The admiration of your peers. Your battle against cancer. 

2. Stupid. Worse than muttering most obscenities. Fraternities. Status updates about the weather or what you had for breakfast. Jogging in place. Gluten-free pancakes. Describing historically black colleges and universities as schools of choice. Judging fraternities and status updates about the weather or what you had for breakfast.  

3. Zero. Nothing springs to mind. The purpose of meditation? 

4. Huge. America’s deficit. The number of casualties in the Syrian Civil War. The entire cheesecake you ate all by yourself. Disappointments, discrepancies, discounts. Japanese spider crabs. A ball of twine somewhere in Kansas. That pink teddy bear won at the county fair. 

5. They. Don’t make ‘em like they used to. 

6. Amazing. U.S. life expectancy falling for the first time in decades. Sunrises or sunsets over open water. The effect of gerrymandering. Grace. Witnessing birth. The smell of bacon frying, even if you’re against eating meat. Fireflies at the approach of a Midwest summer night, seen through a young child's eyes.     

7. Weak. Excuses. Core strength after forty. The economy. Balloons when unexpectedly released into a web of tree limbs. Comfort zones. Closed-mindedness. The tail streamers of a luna moth. Narcissus. Trusting any ice with a depth of less than four inches. 

8. Politically Correct. Ninety-nine percent of knock-knock jokes. A bride wearing white. Snowflake liberals. Always putting the toilet seat down. An insult. Writing happy holidays or seasons greeting’s!! Napkins in laps. Never calling a crayon flesh-colored. Sipping from the side of the spoon. “God Bless You” following a sneeze. Not pussy grabbing. Times New Roman. Hats off during “The Star Spangled Banner.” Freedom Fries. A widower wearing black. A compliment. 

9. Dangerous. Tweeting after midnight. Smoldering firecrackers in mouth. Propaganda. Hippos, despite their adorableness as calfs. Juggling. Fidget spinners. Juggling fidget spinners.  

10. We. Are the champions, my friends. 

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